Recovered Oser family-history source — five-page typed memoir scanned and emailed to Danielle on November 3, 2008. Gladys says in the text that she researched her birth record in the summer of 1985, so the memoir was written in or after 1985. This is a best-effort transcription from the surviving scan. Obvious typewriter overstrikes are normalized only where the intended word is clear; unusual wording and family-memory uncertainty are otherwise preserved.
My Name: Gladys Murphy Nance, Oser
Jul 3, 1920
I think we should talk first about the circumstances of my birth – I don’t know much. From things told to me by my brothers and sister-in-laws my mother died when I was very young. My father either placed me in a childrens home for foster care or gave me directly to the family that raised me. I am not sure of the place of my birth. Under the circumstances, I feel that my birth place was not to far from the area in which I was raised, East St. Louis, Ill. What is important is that my real parents were the mother and father who cared for me and loved me just like their very own. They seemed to have confided in no one about the circumstances of my birth. My older brothers knew very little. My last name is Murphy I’m sure. They could never legally adopt me because my father would not give his consent. (Thats what I’m told.) I never had a given middle name – was always told it was Murphy. I was never allowed to drop the Murphy. I think perhaps this was a clue that made me realize I did have other parents. When my parents estate was settled, I was included as a legal heir.
Here are the statistics on the only parents I knew and treated me as their very own:
Father: Richard Delmus Nance, Sept. 14, 1877, Coldwater, Ky. (Jan. 1959)
Mother: Maggie May (Graves) Nance, Sept. 28, 1876, Henderson Co. Ky. (Aug. 1950)
Married: March 11, 1900.
I do not know much about my parents childhood. They were both raised on farms and did not have an easy time of it. Mom often spoke of how hard she worked in the fields. She came from a family of six girls and one younger brother. The older girls did the work. Dad must have fared a little better as there were several brothers and sisters.
I barely remember my maternal grandparents and never met the paternal grandparents.
Three sons were born to my parents in Kentucky – Prentice Edward, March 31, 1901; George C. Dec. 23, 1902; James W. Feb. 22, 1904. Fifteen years later (Jan. 25, 1919) a little girl was born to them that did not live. Her name was Ruth. I know they were grief stricken. There was a picture taken of my father holding this little girl. His face told the store. (The little girl was born in East St. Louis, Ill.) When the three boys were still small, the family moved to East St. Louis – father had a job with the Missouri Pacific Railroad. That was the only job I remember him having. He was a carpenter and could do all kinds of repair jobs. My mother was a good seamstress and took in sewing to provide a supplemental income.
Sometime in 1920 or possibly early 1921 I come into the scene. Perhaps they wanted me to replace the little girl they had lost. It would be years before I tried to track down a birth certificate, 60 in fact. Unable to come up with anything, I was issued a delayed birth certificate showing the Nances as my parents. This summer (1985) I did make a trip to our State Capitol, Springfield, Ill. trying to track down my birth record. They were most cooperative and saw nothing unusual in my request. All the files are on film. The lady set at her desk and used her monitor covering every clue I could give her. She did come up with a birth date of July 2, 1920 (not the 3rd as all my records indicate). I then had her to see if she could find a death certificate for the mother of the child. There was none. I paid $10.00 for the copy of a certificate showing a Gladys Myrtle Murphy as being born July 2, 1920 near Chicago, Ill. I tried having the juvenile records at our County Seat in Belleville checked – they said they had nothing. I suspect they really never looked. After thinking the matter over and talking to my younger brother I do not feel this is the correct birth certificate. Mom did tell him many years ago that I came from a home in Belleville, Ill. That was all she told him and swore him to secrecy.
My younger brother whom I’ve been talking about above was born Oct. 21, 1922. They named him R.D., but later we all called him Rich. The older boys had moved out and married before I quite realized who they were. That is not entirely correct. My middle brother George C. was in Utah homesteading when my parents took me in. It was several years before he gave up homesteading and came back home. He also went to work for the railroad and stayed home about ten years. He was at work quite a bit and I think we probably regarded him as a young uncle. He was permitted to discipline us when we got into squabbles. Never any capital punishment. I was about 10 when he got married and left home. I always thought he was a lot more strict with me and my brother than he was with his own kids. That really isn’t true, but when I was younger I used to feel that way.
I started to school in 1926 and still have all my report cards – some showing my height and weight. They are nothing to brag about – very average. I really had to study. I attended two grade schools. They were brick and stone structures – the inside had lots of wood. Wooden stairs, wooden floors which were always kept oiled to keep down the dust. They were fire traps by todays standards. The desks were bolted down to the floor. I remember my first and second grade teachers very well. They taught me the basics of reading and writing and I had no problem with these subjects through grade school. In the third grade we were permitted to fill our ink wells and each given a writing pen. The points were replaceable. It was a big thing to get to write with a pen and dipping it into the ink. It was our job to take care of those pens and clean them up when we were through using them. We sometimes made an awful mess. It was in the third and fourth grades I began to realize that mathematics would be a terrible burden. Actually, I had no problem adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing. It was applying this principle to the written problems and questions that baffled me. I liked most all of my teachers. They were very dedicated and could not marry and keep teaching. What discrimination. There were a lot of spinster teachers during my school years.
My folks had bought three older homes in East St. Louis. We lived in one and they rented out the other two. This was the only home I would know until I was married. My bedroom was upstairs and in the winter time it got pretty cold some times. I didn’t mind it – had warm flannel night clothes and plenty of covers. Mom said it was healthy to sleep like that.
As for my looks – I was a fair skinned, blue eyed blonde with straight, straight hair, always thought I was so tall, although I never quite reached 5’5. Dad cut my hair and my brothers. We each had the same kind of a hair cut. Dutch bob I believe it is called. Bangs across the forehead and the sides cut off right across the middle of the ears. About the time I thought it was a decent length, time for another hair cut. When I was a little older, I rebelled and got to wear my hair a little longer. I tried using curling irons on it – the kind you heated on the gas stove. It helped for little while, but soon it was back straight again. Later on I would get permanents. The early ones were pure torture. The hair was wrapped in metal rods and a smelly solution put on. There were clamps that hung up high from a stand. These were clamped on each rod, and then the electric was turned on. I was given a long pointer stick to point to any spot that was getting too hot. The clamp was lifted a little to let it cool off. The operators really earned their money. It was a terrifying experience and I was sure I would be electrocuted in my chair just like criminals died in electric chairs. I cried during the whole ordeal. Mom stood right by my side. When it was over you couldn’t say I had straight hair because it was tight, kinky and fuzzy.
One of my favorite things was to go shopping in St. Louis. I always enjoyed riding the old street car swinging and across the Mississippi River. There was always a special smell at the end of the bridge from an old candy factory. Even with my eyes closed I would know where I was. There were still a few horses on the street and there was a huge round water trough for them to drink out of right in the middle of the street. We would buy our lunch at a dime store cafeteria. It was a big treat because we just didn’t eat out. Mom always found some bargains for all of us.
We had two dogs. The first one was a little terrior named Pudgy. He was an outside dog but got to stay in the enclosed back porch when it was too cold. I really liked him. When he died I was sad and couldn’t talk about him without bursting into tears. We had pigeons and chickens – we didn’t have a big place for them but mom kept a few. I remember going out to the hen house which was attached to our garage and gathering a few eggs. Now and then a chicken ended up on the table. I would watch Mom wring the chickens neck off and watch it flop around on the ground. Next she needed a bucket of hot water to pick the feather off – then there was always the insides that had to come out. I never participated in any of this and would not eat chicken for years. There was also rabbits. Some of them ended up on the table too, but that was one procedure I did not watch. I never ate rabbit either. The only reason I ate beef was because I had never seen a cow butchered. Mom raised canaries. There were cages and cages of them. I helped a little bit cleaning the cages but was not enthused about it. Mom would put an ad in the paper when she had some good singers. Lots of women came to see and hear them and also bought them. It was interesting to watch the mother bird feed her young ones and see them feather out and leave the nest.
Dad worked every day and did repairs to the house. He had a big garden across the street in a vacant lot. He loved to garden. We had a big zenith radio which he liked to listen to in the evening after he had read the paper. It was always on kind of loud because of his hearing loss. There was a wind up victrola with some old records like, Red Wing, May I Sleep In Your Barn Tonight Mister, Cause Its Cold Sleeping Out On the Ground. There were many more which were before even my time but I can’t remember them. There was also one called “Lucky Lindy” referring to Chas. Lindberghs flight across the Atlantic. We had a player piano with lots of old piano rolls. Do you know Moonlight & Roses, By By Black Bird. Some of the music must have been World War I songs. I did have some old sheet music that did date back to World War I. My older brother Jim played the piano. I threw away all the sheet music when my parents moved. I was at an auction the other week and saw old sheet music go at an outrageous price. Things like that is the story of my life.
My mother sewed all my clothes when I was younger. Each dress had matching panties. She even sewed some for me after I was out of High School and going with your grandfather. One dress I remember in particular, was a dark blue chiffon velvet. Your grandfather had given me a rhinestone brooch for Christmas and I wore it with the dress. It was quite a few years later when I did a little sewing on my own that I really appreciated and understood all the work she had put in to sewing for me. She also crocheted and was accomplished at doing needle work. I did learn to embroidery some.
We did not have any big vacations. A few train trip to Kentucky. My parents had traveled some when they were younger. I vaguely remember when we got our first car. It was a big used limousine. Dad did not drive because of his hearing. Mom did all the driving, but it never improved. Dad would have been the better driver and should not have let his hearing problem stop him. We used to go for short trips on Sunday, and frequently got lost. Mom made the wrong turns.
I don’t remember any special holiday traditions. We always had a nice Christmas and a big tree. One year my father made me a little dresser with a mirror and a doll crib – I also remember the pretty doll too. She had dark brown curly hair (real hair) and a bisque face. Denise has a few pieces of my play china. I still have my little rocking chair. Our Christmas was a modest one. Some of my older brothers and their families would be in for Thanksgiving and New Years Day. I liked the 4th of July, and would squander every penny I could get my hands on to buy fireworks. I still love to see fireworks displays. During the summer I had a play house in the garage. There was a little area partitioned off and that was mine. It had dirt floors and would put down an old piece of carpeting. I took all my housekeeping articles out there for the summer. Some of the little neighbor girls would come over and we would play out there for hours.
I believe I failed to tell you I started taking piano lessons in the 3rd or 4th grade. My younger brother Rich was taking violin lessons. Our mother wanted us to be able to play duets together. Our teacher worked very hard on this. Sometimes in the evening our father would come in the living room and sit down and listen to what we had accomplished. Neither Rich nor I really understood the technique of him playing one part and me the other. Sometimes I would be 3 or 4 bars ahead of him. It was strange music and I don’t think anyone knew the difference. Dad didn’t seem to mind. Maybe because his hearing was not the best. When we felt he had been entertained enough we would stop and wait for the applause he always gave us. Then he would give us each 25¢. Our mother was very stoic about our lessons and set through most of them. One afternoon on the way to our lesson she pulled over to the curb for me to mail a letter. When I got back in the car she started pulling away slowly and some how the car door got away from me and was almost ripped off by a telephone post. We managed to get the door pushed back in and just kept going. We didn’t want to keep our teaching waiting. Rich and I did give several recitals at the PTA meetings and Mom was most proud.
Our parents use to take us to the neighborhood movie house on Saturday night. None of the top movies were shown on Sat. night, but we did see the weekly serial; a full length movie and a short comedy. The serials always kept me hanging to on my seat. If we had to miss a week I was really upset. The short comedies were to become classics, like Laurel & Hardy, Our Gang, The Three Stooges. (The old movie house was heated by two big pot belly stoves, one in the back and one in the front. You could hear them being attended to during the movie)
I suppose a lot of funny things happened to me in school, but I was embarrassed about them. Once during a school play I was so anxious to get on stage with my part that I came out on the wrong act. I rushed off the stage and would not go back on when it was my turn. Teacher pushed some other unfortunate victim out front for me. I don’t recall my lines – Rich was always getting in scrapes at school and that really mortified me. My mother sometimes fibbed about my age to get me in at half price. That really worried me because I thought we both would surely go to jail if we got caught. My favorite school subject was history. In the 5th grade I started writing stories I guess they would be called novels. One of the favorites I wrote was about an Ancient Egyptian tribe that went under ground to survive from their enemies. They lived under the Great Pyramids way down deep through miles and miles of tunnels that no one ever discovered. There was water underground and some how a little sun light managed to trickle through. It was a thrilling science/fiction novel with some romance in it. I also penned some love stories. I did have a powerful imagination. Later on when I got to see the big movies I recognized some of my scripts.
I finally graduated from the 8th grade in June of 1934. I was happy and sad for it meant breaking up with my classmates of the past eight years. Although most of us went to the same High School, we were seldom in the same class and did not see much of each other. My 4 Years of High School were pretty routine. Still had difficulty with math. I joined a sewing club and a singing group. Went to football games but didn’t understand the game very well. I had girl friends and we went out together. By than I was allowed to ride the bus across the river to St. Louis and go to the BIG movies. There were some beautiful theatres at that time. The new ones don’t compare with these beautiful theatres. There were a couple of boys I liked but nothing ever came of it. I never thought much about going to college. I had taken mostly business subjects and expected to do secretarial work. It would be 4 or 5 years before I got work using these skills. (I graduated from High School in 1938)
One of the things I did not touch on was the Great Depression of the 1930’s. My father had steady work during this period and had a little income from rental property. My parents were thrifty – there was not a lot of money. They had been through hard times years ago. I knew a lot of people were not working, but really didn’t understand there was a depression. There were times when some of the tenants could not pay their rent. Lots of people blamed this on President Hoover. My parents were Republican and did not vote for President Roosevelt.
On June 12, 1941 I married your grandfather. He left for the service 3 or 4 days later. I blamed the draft and World War II on President Roosevelt for quite a few years. I lived with my parents while your grandfather was in service. They were very kind to me – I never paid board for the many years I was at home.
Our Son John Richard was born Jan. 7, 1943. His father got to come home on leave and spent a week with us. I did not follow him in service like a lot of young women did. Instead, I went back to work. My mother and Grandmother Oser looked after him. I saved all the money I could and when your grandfather came home in Oct. 1945 we had saved enough to almost pay cash for our little home. (My parents sold their three homes and moved to the suburbs in Oct. 1945. It was during this period I threw away so many things I wish I had kept.)
It was a happy day when the three of us moved in our own home after all those years apart. Little John did not have a problem making up with his dad. He had seen so many pictures of him and we had talked about his father so often he seemed to understand what had happened. Another son, Michael Albert was born to us on Dec. 7, 1948. Our daughter Denise Martha was born Sept. 6, 1953. We are proud of our children and their families – 5 grandchildren at last count. We must have done a few things right to have such good kids.
My only advise to you – If there is something special you want to do with your life, hold on to that special thought and make it come true. Perhaps you don’t know just yet what it is your reaching for, but one day you will and go for it. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake now and then. Its only those who do nothing that make now mistakes.
Love Grandma.
P.S. I suppose I was impressed most by the movie “To Kill A Mocking Bird.” We saw this movie in St. Louis – the theatre was large and packed. When the show was over, the lights went on and the audience just sat staring at the screen. Very slowly the people got up from their seats and headed for the exit – there was no laughing or talking as usual when the movie is over. I think we were reflecting on all our prejudices. Gone With The Wind is also a classic I enjoyed.
As for reading – I enjoy historical novels – I’ve read so many. I just recently read “Son of the Morning Star.” This is a biography of Gen. Geo. Custer and about the famous last stand at The Battle of The Little Big Horn. The book not only covered the life of Gen. Custer but also included his friends enemies and acquaintances that were some how involved in the Little Big Horn. You also were fascinated by reading about the famous Indian Chiefs of those times and their people.
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