Recovered original email from Peter Zeimet. Body preserved verbatim.
Original subject: repeating the same mistakes……..I wish things could change and maybe you are the one destined to do so.!!!!!!!!!
From: <renobassoon@pyramid.net>
Date: April 11, 2007
Danielle - I THINK YOU ARE 100% PROPER AND CORRECT IN LOOKING INTO THE FAMILY AND RECORDING THINGS AS THEY ARE. It is the correct and realistic thing to do. Just because James Solomon did not help raise your mother, WE DO NOT REALLY KNOW THE WHOLE STORY>...........maybe he was forced into exile. I would imagine he was not totally blameless, though. He should have told is family about your mother. THAT WAS A BIG BIG MISTAKE.........but the Zeimets and the Fullers made many mistakes, too. Please understand me when I say you are truly the person who seems able to break the chain of repeated mistakes.
Jo copied me on her opinion of a few things and well, they are her opinions. I understand totally her side...........and your interest in knowledge about your real grandfather. I wish that I could really tell you everything but I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING TO SAY MORE THAN I ALREADY TOLD YOU. The Zeimet family were very honest and hard working people, but they certainly did not accept new members very well. Sisters in law and brothers in law were outsiders just as much as your mom was. I am not sure she realized that. THEY ALSO HELD THEIR GROUND no matter what the circumstance was. Your mother was not treated properly by them. Jo was teated like a fairy princess by them.
I was sort of left in the dust because the rift had gotten so wide that it was not suitable for repair. Your mom was treated pretty well by my father. He always sparkled when she was around and he bragged about her to everyone he knew. He liked your dad because she was Lani's husband and welcomed him. That was strange as the FAMILY did not do that. I think he made a 500% effort to welcome your dad. He REALLY WAS GOOD TO HIM and proud of him, too. He never mentioned me to his friends or family...........or the people in town. When I would go back to Edgemont the store keepers knew everything about your mother but there was no news from Peter W. Zeimet on me..........good or bad !!!!!! Jo liked him, but there was always the fact that she felt second, too. She was the middle child, you know. I am sure the middle child syndrome was in effect there.
My mother and I got along the best. I do not know why. Maybe we were the last two left in the room because everyone else went their own ways and we had no one but each other. I still miss her everyday.........every day !!!!!! I think your grandfather Zeimet actually liked Lani the best of all. I really never knew him. We were virtually strangers to each others emotions. There were no BAD EMOTIONS, JUST REALLY NONE THAT EXISTED EITHER WAY. He did offer several times to legally adopt her and she did not want that. Your aunt Jo finds that difficult to deal with. I understand why, too.
She is very much a Zeimet and they are black and white. The Zeimet family was very very intelligent.......so smart it was scarey. Most of them you never met, but they were college professors, etc. and always excelled at everything. Your Aunt Ida had a 4 point at Columbia. Well, the girls did more than the boys, but they were very dominant and did not accept any change whatsoever.
I hate to see the same MISTAKES repeated again that left our family unable to be A FAMILY. Our dad did not legally leave ANYTHING to your grandmother. Jo was going to TAKE OVER. Gee, that was a Zeimet mistake about to be repeated !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, despite many things you have likely heard, I said NO to that. I would not sign powers of attorney. Your grandmother Zeimet's lawyer said DON'T DO IT......so I did not. I certainly took years of hell for that decision. I know your mom was mad at me for doing so but I said NO....NO NO !!!!!!!!
Your grandmother was alive and she told me multiple times she wanted her house and the ranch in her name. She had been left out in the cold emotionally and in many other respects, too. Our dad died. Mother was alive and by HER request to me while driving to the funeral in Pringle, (we drove together.........everyone else took individual cars) She asked me to NOT let them take over. Well, I suffered every arrow and verbal hatred abuse I could handle, but when I took your grandma to the attorney, she TOLD HIM what she told me. I waited outside and then came in later so she would not feel pressured to tell him what SHE WANTED................ She wanted HER things in her name, and she got her wish. I got the blame..........oh well !!!!!
Well, it may have been better financially and somewhat less problematic but it was the right thing to do as YOUR GRANDMA deserved those things and she handled her last years alone quite well and her ability for judgement was sound right to the end. Her physical problems were many, but her mind was pretty good. Despite the fact that the decision I made to not cooperate with Jo and your mom left us permanently in limbo, (Permanently, too) I still feel your grandmother getting her wish was the right thing to do, despite the permanent rift it caused. It did not ever end, you know. ( Well, we were never "together"anyway. ) She deserved to be finally recognized as a living person and I doubt any Zeimet ever gave her that right. I also do not even think THEY REALIZED IT.........I REALLY DO NOT. THEY WERE ZEIMETS AND THEY WOULD MAKE THE DECISIONS. IT WAS NOT A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION.......IT WAS JUST THE WAY IT WAS............those other people were OTHER PEOPLE and not in the tight fold. I firmly feel they have never recognized there were mistakes. Jo would carry on the tradition, but thankfully that did not get passed on to another generation. Grandma AraBelle's property and decisions over them meant a great deal to her. She was always a little afraid to discuss these matters with Jo and even your mom to an extent. She would just agree and back away. This puzzled me, but it was something she had learned over the years........it was not possible to fight a Zeimet. So, she let Jo be the new czar............well I did not. Right or wrong, I did what your grandmother asked. THERE WERE SO MANY MISTAKES made over the 40-50 years. Your mom and Jim Solomon split and it was ugly. So, your mother suffered from that. There was NO attempt to correct it. The Zeimet family was terrible to your mother and that was not fair. I think your grandfather Zeimet was left hanging in the middle somewhere, but always felt the family connection to his brothers and sisters........or PRINGLE to be short. He was just as much a victim of circumstances as your mom was. Your grandmother Zeimet did not help smooth things over, either. Her father was a terrible ugly abusive man. He doted on your mother and hated Jo and I. HE HATED BOTH OF US. The Zeimets, as I said like Jo but the split and fights had left them cool to me by the time I was born. It stayed that way forever. I doubt your Aunt Jo is aware of this because she glowed in their attention to her. She needed it and they gave it. It is hard to visualize, but the entire decades of the 50', 60's and 70's were ones of animosity, glossed over facts and very unhappy days in general. It is impossible to cast the stones of blame on any one person. They were all good, just not good to each other. I will agree with Jo in that your grandfather Zeimet tried as hard as he could to be there for your mom. Perhaps she did not realize it, but he did try his best. If you knew the strange "bond" the Zeimet family had with each other, you would understand the situation better. They all came back to the STORE in Pringle every weekend. Aunt Dona lived in Sioux fall for quite a few years. She came back EVERY WEEKEND.........400 miles each way. They would sit in the main room behind the store and stare at each other. Well, your mom was not invited.........but then I was not either. They adored Jo. When we went to Custer to see grandpa Fuller, your mom was queen.......and he liked my dad. Jo and I and your grandmother sat in the basement....or on the porch or in the car. Well, we could go in, but usually migrated out before too long. These were all terrible mistakes. Anyway, our lives all continued this way. One would blame the other for something and gang up on the rest......and then turn around and be the victim on the next devastating crisis. It was a bad bad situation and when that damn ranch sells, thank god it will be over. I have seen your Aunt Jo only twice in 30 years. I am trying very hard to communicate now. It is mostly about the ranch sale, but I have tried to extend other items, but they are not well received. I realize, though; that it is too late................way to late. However, I suppose if we learn to be civil, it will be ok. I am guessing, however that when the place is sold, that I may (POSSIBLY??????) never hear from her again. I doubt that I will ever actually see her. Well, that is just another of the family mistakes, right?
Anyway.........I am glad that you have the courage to ask questions that should have been dealt with a long time ago. My parents were both wonderful people that destiny should not have put together...........but it happened, anyway. Over the years, the arguments subsided, but it was just a legal formality and not one of perfection in the art of marriage. They were both honest and caring in their own ways and totally distant to one another. Your grandmother did not try and unite your mom with her dad. I do not know if he wanted that. I would like to think for your mom's sake he did, but I cannot say. I know he called her on her 16th birthday. I WAS THERE........I REMEMBER IT. Your grandma RIPPED THE PHONE OFF THE WALL and would not let them talk. I know he had asked Dickie Nicholson about her whereabouts in the late 50's. He was your grandmother's first cousin and lived in Winner, S.D. near the Rosebud Reservation where your grandmother was born. He had come back to go hunting and stopped to see Dick and his wife Virginia. He is passed away now and Ginny lives in Sioux Falls in a home. I do not think she would be able to help you answer any questions at this point. She may have already passed away, too because it was some years back I knew she had left Winner due to age and infirmatiy. I THINK they told him that mother lived in Edgemont. Maybe your great grandfather Fuller told them, but I doubt it. So........there were mistakes made there...........and many more to come. It was a mistake for your mom to not divulge everything she knew to you, as well. THAT WAS A MISTAKE.........A MISTAKE REPEATED. The Zeimet family made mistakes where MANY THINGS WERE concerned. Dozens of more mistakes have been made, too.......FROM BOTH SIDES AND THOSE IN THE MIDDLE. If you want my verbalization on them, I will be glad to tell you everything. But, TIMES have changed and they are all gone now. It certainly is time to stop the animosity and coverups and "this one did this" and "that one did that."
Frankly I am sure they were all perfectly good people. They just had no business trying to be a family together. That likely included James Solomon. It is sooooooooo hard to explain how everyone was and still is to each other. We never were a family. Certainly not in the normal definition of the word. But, it is all we had and all we will ever have. So, if my feelings that you are the real success of all that were entered into the family tree book. I think you are a success at everything else, too. Thank you for being Danielle and giving the time to look into everything. I find it hard to believe that she is having Jo channel her feelings.................it is just another mistake. Please overlook it. You are doing nothing wrong. For your Aunt Jo, she is doing nothing wrong, either. She is just Mary Jo ZEIMET and her life is what our upbringing made us to be...........and myself.............WE DO NOT NEED TO OPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS. Take care and go with my blessings - Pete Zeimet
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