Life With Boys

I’m not really sure what to call this mood — it’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s not blah, it’s just a mood. Matt will attest to it I’m sure. It’s been this way for a bit now — maybe since Mom’s birthday (2/2) but I really don’t know — I guess I should have marked it on the calendar. So here are the observations of the world we live in this week — may you find them as enlightening as I have.

1. Don’t call a psycho person psycho. We already know we are psycho and you’re not helping things one little bit by pointing it out. It doesn’t matter how psycho you believe we are behaving — it’s a bit like trying to talk the jumper off of the ledge — use soothing tones and get them down before you ask what the hell they were doing up there in the first place.
2. Matt is full of surprises. On Valentine’s Day he presented me with a gift and then told me — it’s not for you — it’s for you to take to Pauline (our receptionist at work who for reasons I’ll never understand seems to suffer the wrath of the world on a daily basis despite how incredibly devout she is to “The Lord”). I worry a lot about Pauline and it tickled me to no end to have such an amazing partner. FYI — my amazing partner knowing me so well presented me with the 100 Gel Pen pack I spotted at Sam’s on a recent excursion (he says he saw it first and I confirmed the suspicion that I had to have them). And for anyone who knows me, the way to my heart is through office supplies.
3. My new favorite book is “The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love” yes it’s chick lit and I’m telling you that if you don’t go read it right now you’re doing yourself a dis-service (even the highly enlightened ones of you out there will find yourselves laughing out loud.) And I’m not going to talk to you until you read it (or listen as I do — which is how you get the full gist of the “southerness” — and yes, listening does count as reading — seeing as it is the only way I get through anything these days.) A summary — From Publishers Weekly Unlike other beauty queens, the Jackson, Miss., Sweet Potato Queens are self-crowned, rule for life (there’s no “former” tag for these gals) and are real women? figure flaws and all. Originally organized in 1982, the Queens are, by their own account, “fallen Southern belles” and “female drag queens”? and as such, they are all about attitude and humor. This buoyantly funny guide to life and love is a hoot from the get-go as ringleader Browne offers queenly observations on life’s most pressing issues. Some topics may seem trivial, such as tanning, making the most of big hair and delighting in “big, sturdy, serviceable, substantial Russian immigrant underwear” for pregnant women (it’s so “indescribably comfy” that “you may never go back”), but they are expertly mined for laughs. Non-cooks may reconsider when reading the hilariously artery-clogging recipes in the chapter “What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes,” highlighting the four main food groups (sweet, salty, fried and au gratin) and suitable for both therapeutic and recreational eating. The life-affirming final chapter reminds readers of life’s many options: “Life may indeed be short, but it is, for a fact, wide.” If you can’t get enough of the Queens, you can visit their Web site http://www.sweetpotatoqueens.com. Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
4. My Beck family is in the act of being the Cleaver’s on crack again (as usual). Dad has decided that having a convertible Porsche in Utah is impractical (duh). (This being the Porsche that he found on eBay one day and decided that he had to have it — yeah, Mom was really excited about that one.) Anyway he found the current car of his dreams an Acura NSX (I think) in Arizona — so he’s spent the last week driving to Arizona where a friend is going to sell the Porsche for him and picking up this new toy. (Did I mention that he’s so busy and can’t find the time to come see me on his own without Marilyn? And why would he want to come see me on his own if he would just be wanting to have her here with him?) In other news Mindy has decided since she has lost so much weight (yeah, you go girl) that she now needs augmentation (huh?). I’m still a little in shock about this one. Flat out it’s the money — and all the things I think she should be doing with it which is none of my business, but bugs me anyway.
5. Money — I think I’m obsessed by money lately. Has a little to do with the fact that that my Grandpa Zeimet’s ranch might finally sell and that will mean my Dad will come into some money — which I know is rightfully his, but still makes me nervous to hand him that kind of cash. Especially when I start playing the “if I had a million dollars” game (not that we’re talking that much, but if we’re talking pretend money it might has well be a million dollars.) I’ll just keep putting stuff up on eBay to create the cash flow to pay someone to develop my ebook website for me.
6. Speaking of which — I’m making some progress on “the book” I’ve been scanning like a crazy person and have an appointment to hire a web designer to take the template I bought and customize it to do exactly what I want it to do.
7. As for my other plan — a master’s degree — I’m holding off for a bit more. I want to finish this project, get the boys both into school and make sure I can get as many scholarships as possible to cover it.
8. Speaking of getting the boys in school — we took Tyler for kindergarten registration on Monday. Best thing is his best day care friend Molly B is also going to the same kindergarten (seems everyone else is going the Catholic school route). Then there was the brainstorm — now what am I going to do about work — if school doesn’t start until 8:50 and get out until 3:40? Does one of us go in extra early? And then what happens in June when school is out? I’ve kept thinking that if I can just get the boys into school everything will get easier — what the hell was I thinking? This home-work-life balance thing is throwing me for a loop.
9. And speaking of work — it’s been all kinds of goofy this week. Things have been very up in the air about my employment situation — as in — who exactly thinks they are the boss of me. It’s been a subject of great debate and I’m still waiting on a resolution. In the meantime I need to get a full website and marketing promo package off the ground, but I’m still waiting on all of the pieces to come together. I think the next few weeks may (read WILL) be a whole lot nuts.

That’s enough food for thought for now. Tune in again for another installment of Danielle’s life when I get around to posting again.