The blow out I knew was coming has been here and in its wake I’m feeling dreadful, exhausted — relieved. It’s like knowing the worst is going to happen and almost being glad that it is finally over — but I’m guessing it’s not (over that is.)
And you’ll never guess what we’re arguing about. It’s not so much about her as it is about his absolute consumption of every waking moment that has left me feeling like I’ve lost both my Mom and my Dad. It’s the same argument I’ve had all along — Mindy and I didn’t die too, his grandchildren still need him, now more than ever — and he’s just not available. Which is so frustrating.
This isn’t home anymore, it is less and less home with every box I tape up, with every piece of evidence that my Mom was here once methodically removed to make room for the uncertain future. Uncertain as I don’t know my place in it. And I’m fighting to keep a place in it, especially a place for my kids. And it’s not that she won’t allow my Dad to have a place for them, for me — it’s that he seems unable to balance his consumfuption for the new and exciting future with the expecatations of those left in the past.
And The Inevitable Happens …
One response to “And The Inevitable Happens …”
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Danielle – For whatever good it does, you still have family. Your Aunt Jo and myself are always here as well as your memories of your mom and grandparents. I know the South Dakota side of the family was never a close knit group and frequently made Iraq look like the garden of tranquility but WE ARE STILL HERE and always were. Speaking from 50+ years of experience with family troubles you do not have to be warm and fuzzy all the time to be important in someones life. It would be nice but it very rarely happens that way. It certainly was NOT the case in the Edgemont clan. So, survival is possible with memories and fortitude for the future. Perhaps that is what your dad is doing and possibly you also without realizing it. Keep going on and learn to create a future that can incorporate your feelings and memories. (the good and the bad for they are both pertinent) It is the only thing you can do and the best thing you can do for your family in Missouri and Utah. If you need me I will always be around – Your uncle – Pete Zeimet
About Me
I started this site so my mom could get news about her grandkids without me having to walk her through the process of trying to open and email attachment several times a week. Since then she has passed away and I’ve fallen off the blog wagon, but I’m inspired to pick it up again now.
Life With Boys 
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