Life With Boys

Life with boys … this one has been writing itself in my head for a week now, and I’ve been afraid to commit it to actual words because I know it will wreck me … But if I don’t, that will destroy me … and I really need some sleep …

Last weekend, I learned that one of my fellow wrestling moms had died unexpectedly … Our kiddos had shared a spot in the gifted program since kindergarten, and later, her son took up wrestling as a freshman when the boy was a senior … Our paths should have crossed so many times, but it was not until we were both fellow bleacher surfers that we really got to know each other.

If you’ve been to a wrestling tournament, you know there is a lot of time to kill between the few minutes your kiddo is on the mat. It was a strange and stressful time for our seniors as they waited to hear from colleges and determine a path for their future. It was a time of new beginnings for her freshman, who was picking up this wildly weird and sometimes breath-stealing sport. And then the boy got mono … twice … and his senior season was over … but we still supported the team … from the sidelines, and it was so painful… I will never forget her supportive words …

“In the past few months, I’ve learned how many times our paths should have crossed but haven’t. I am so grateful they finally have and I’m so appreciative of your family for all you have done for the boys. Not all of them will ever see the dedication and commitment you made the boys, but I hope at least some of them realize they always had at least one cheerleader in the stands, someone making sure they were fed, had all of the gear they needed and a hand to hold when they were injured. I hope [my kiddo] is wise enough to see all of the lessons he could have learned from [your boy] in even the last few days.”

And later, as the boy’s sports career came to a quiet close …

“Well, this made me cry. Your family and [the boy] are astounding examples of cheering on those around you. No matter where [he] stands he should always be proud of the person he has become. He is a leader and has learned the value of what it means to be a true teammate. How could he not,he’s had you as an example.”

Which, of course, made me cry too …

She was a quiet sparkler … the one who didn’t mind working the concession stand for hours on end (you don’t want me in the concession stand; that is a terrible place for me)… she was the first to make sure kiddos had a ride home, and I know she made special swings through McDonald’s to make sure they would be fed … She was happy to volunteer to make sure we had enough Gatorade and snacks to send on the road with the team (and a wrestling team goes through soooo many cases of Gatorade and granola bars … it is unreal) … and if I needed her to run around and do whatever I needed at the golf tournament, she was happy to do that too …

We continued to be quiet participants in each other’s lives … popping up in my feed with so much pride as her kiddos did this or that … And now she is gone … and I feel for her kiddos … for her senior who will now try to navigate the end of this pivotal year without her guidance … for her daughter who is getting ready to make her spring from the college nest into the world … for her husband who has lost his anchor … and this afternoon when I attend the visitation with the boy (who is driving in special to attend because “it is the right thing to do”) I hope I will be able to offer my presence and quiet support during this tumultuous time … I know they will have no idea who was there today … it will all be a blur … but I will be there anyway … supporting in the only way know how … by showing up …

Feb 13, 2022 – https://www.facebook.com/danielle.oser/posts/pfbid02bsa2mt6kumKiVyTNpqpQMK5N6pYNzcKZj51NVFRuiSmMFfdpEXyqNZjaFy3fj4n4l

May 28, 2022 – https://www.facebook.com/danielle.oser/posts/pfbid05X71S6fw2KEFFXGi8EoL7VVMDfyCfcfyXQwVdwbtLbT6KGtQUvvay5u17u2tEyE7l