Life With Boys

These last few days int he hospital, I’ve been forced to take another look at the world.

Maybe it’s too many episodes of Extreme Makeover and Miracle Workers, but all this time trapped in a bed forces you to evaluation everything.

I’ve been repeatedly forced to evaluate the world around me. Yes, so far this year had gotten off to rotten start, but I have my blessings … a family who loves me, who will take the time to support me … to have a group of people who love me unconditionally … to help me through.

I’ve been privately fighting my demons with a small support group and revealing my shortcomings has been so very hard. It goes against so many basic elements of my being.

My brain needs help to work the way that other people take for granted — and that’s OK — I can accept that — it’s just hard to repeatedly explain that depression is a disease .. it is as real as diabetes, as real as cancer and that it must be treated and I’m willing to do what needs to be done to find the best solution for me — which is partially how I got into this hospital in the first place.

I know the risks of experimenting with treatment options, but to be left untreated is too drastic — I let it go far too long. I’m rambling so I’ll go to bed now.