Life With Boys

Yes, you read correctly, at the ripe ole’ age of22 months, Tyler has already earned his first three (in what I’m afraid will be a long line) of stitches.

10 a.m. Saturday I was taking advantage of a few minutes before Grandma and Grandpa Oser arrived to take Tyler for the day so Matt could take me to a movie (novel idea).
I had just put a die-cast metal airplane up on the shelf (I stood it on its tail) — well maybe 10 minutes later Tyler manages to hit the wall just so to knock the metal die-cast airplane off the shelf and WHAM, right into the middle of his left eyebrow. So, off to the pediatrician we go (’cause of course they can’t tell me what to do over the phone) — and of course we had to go to the office that was close to our OLD house, ’cause I haven’t transferred his files yet. The Ped. tells us that because of the location they can’t just butterfly strip it together. So off to the emergency room we go ( and of course that is another 30 minutes from the Ped. office.)

In the meantime, Matt is waiting at home for his parents to arrive, because of course they left for our house before we could catch them. We get to the emergency room at noon, Tyler has fallen asleep. He’s a 26 pound dead-weight with a bloody eyebrow. About 2 hours later we finally get called to fill out paperwork (Matt has arrived at this point to help juggle Tyler who is now awake and thinks the waiting room chairs are a jungle gym which the fellow waiting room occupants are tolerant of for oh about 20 minutes, then they start rearranging themselves — and to get me some food, cause I’m starving).

Three o’clock — we get into a room, which of course Tyler wants to explore — including the space under the bed — really clean choice Tyler.

3:30 Finally a nurse comes in and puts on a topical gel to numb the area (yeah, he loved that). The gel has to be on for 20 minutes, 40 minutes later, and several, “Tyler get out of there’s” later they finally return — to put more gel on.

4 p.m. OK finally a NP who is going to do something — after the detailed explanation of the stitches that disintegrate vs. those you have to have removed; we choose those that will dissolve.

4:15 p.m. We’re making progress; a tech comes in to set-up the equipment.

4:30 p.m. Tyler has his hands bound in a pillowcase and is being held down by me and a tech and the NP is getting ready -­Dad is making Pooh bear do acrobatic tricks on the light to distract the patient (plus this way he doesn’t have to see the needle). Three stitches later, Tyler’s bandaged up, we have our wound care instructions are we’re ready to go home with a red Popsicle in hand.

5:30 p.m. We finally make it back to our house, where Grandma and Grandpa have been making themselves useful (doing laundry, hanging shelves, entertaining the cats). Tyler watches Toy Story and wonders what all the fuss is about as he flies his toy airplane (stuffed this time) around the room.
The moral of the story, don’t set metal die-cast airplanes on their tail and lean them against the wall — they’ll dive bomb you when you least expect it.

Love always – Danielle, Matt & Tyler

PS – Grandma and Grandpa took Tyler to the zoo yesterday. We went to the movies. Sometime last night someone called for me and Matt told them I was a “heap” and couldn’t talk. That about sums it up.